and the planning begins


We’ve been engaged for almost 2 months now! I am so excited to marry Joe and to establish our life together. I’m looking forward to sharing the day-to-day, both the fun and the work of marriage, enjoying each other’s company, learning how to love the way Christ loves us, learning how to sharpen each other “as iron sharpens iron…”

But, I must confess that from the outset, I’ve been less excited about wedding planning, a daunting task for a frugal, introverted (admittedly anti-social at times) people-pleaser like me! I’ve never been very good at enjoying parties– growing up, my family wasn’t very celebratory, and large numbers of people wipe me out! My parents also have very strong opinions that I do not agree with, and not meeting their expectations has always been a huge point of stress for me– so working through that has been tiresome. Eloping has sure been a tempting alternative!

But over the last few years, God has been showing me the importance of joy and celebration– so even though I’m still not very good at understanding celebration, I know that there is value in it, and I want to experience that value. Also, Joe and I have been surrounded by such supportive friends and family, and a wedding is our opportunity to express our deep gratitude to God and to all the people who have walked alongside us! I think Joe wants a party more than I do, and since marriage obviously involves two people, so there’s no such thing as “my way or the highway” :) I’m learning to compromise and loosen up where that needs to happen.

So after stressing out about stuff for a few weeks, I think I’m now at a place where I can have an attitude of openness, and enjoy the planning process. We are planning a small, intimate ceremony/reception in DC (spring 09) and a larger Chinese banquet in Vancouver (summer 09). Here are our challenges:

  • planning a simple but nice event, taking into account realistic costs while fighting the temptation to give into wedding industry media; figuring out how to be good stewards and spend intentionally–not extravagant or wasteful but also not stingy or tending towards asceticism
  • figuring out how to authentically celebrate and honor God for His work in our lives, and not lose that in the details
  • time management–I’m involved in helping out w/ two other weddings, so that’s 4 separate events on the mind and calendar
  • setting the right boundaries w/ family and prioritizing clear and open communication with them

We’re starting with our DC event first, and I’d like to do it for less than $5000. I think it’s totally doable as long as we steer clear of money-sucking wedding vendors! That’s $5000 for one day of celebrating. That’s more than the cost of one year of grad school at UBC!

One Response

  1. Hi Victoria! There’s a website that you might be interested in the future, for the 09 Vancouver event (the website is focused on Seattle right now and don’t think they’re in DC yet)-

    The premise is that all wedding vendors are under a grand- there’s also a “Buy, Borrow, or Share” feature.

    Good luck with the rest of the planning!

    Stacy - October 6th, 2008 at 11:02 pm

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