Interesting discussion here.

I found this great idea on a wedding blog– a book shower! If you click into the link and look for the last image in the post–the bottom left-hand corner book–that’s the best vegetarian cookbook ever!

Not sure how excited Joe would be about books since they’re heavy and he doesn’t really read print material…

I am thankful:

-for my kind, considerate, and loving fiance who came all the way into the city tonight to put in mouse traps (we have a critter in our kitchen, eek!), helped me make dinner, and even did the dishes!
-for down comforter, heat, and safe place to live
-for a job that is challenging, gives me the opportunity to deepen my technical expertise, and allows me to help people (and also pays the bills!)
-for supportive and loving family and friends who help me to focus on the important things in life
-for lessons learned and re-learned this past year
-for books that impart wisdom
-for CSA and farm fresh vegetables each week, which remind me of our dependence on the earth to nourish our bodies, and ultimately our dependence on God the Creator and Source of all life
-for our merciful God who gives us second chances over and over again
-for Him who has lovingly provided all these things and has directed us to give thanks in all circumstances

+ I found my wedding dress! It was $230. It’s also versatile enough for simple picnic wedding and semi-formal banquet celebration. Yay! Now I’m debating about whether to look for a veil.

- I have searched the internet high and low, and there is no such thing as picnic table rentals in DC.

+ Megan and I joined another CSA because the Bull Run season ends this week. We’re now subscribers to Sandy Spring so that we can have more CSA! This week we’re getting sweet corn, sweet potatoes, Chinese (Napa) cabbage, peppers, lettuce, radish, and apples!

- I have about 20 apples from Bull Run left, and they are going to go bad soon… which means I better make applesauce in the next few days…

+ I am leaving for Kauai, Hawaii next week for Michelle & Neil’s wedding!

- I have a lot of stuff to take care of at work before I leave.

+ Went to Dolcezza yesterday for gelato… hazelnut and lime!

+/- J gave notice at his job last week. I’m happy because he’s moving forward and has good opportunities ahead of him, sad because that means he’s leaving DC soon!

? It is 80 degrees in DC today!

Ever since we got engaged, people have been asking me all sorts of wedding questions, like where and when and how… and I’m like… huh? I just got engaged! I don’t know… all I know is I want it to honor God and to authentically represent Joe and me, but I don’t really know what that looks like.

So, # of pre-conceived wedding plans in Victoria’s head when Joe proposed = 0 (he sure got lucky, huh!)

I’m still having difficulty articulating exactly what kind of wedding I envision. But, it’s not like I don’t have opinions. I’m a conscientious person. I have a fairly serious attitude towards life. I’m deliberate with my actions, and every decision I make has to be value-driven and meaningful. (Thankfully, Joe is not quite so serious, so we balance each other out.)

After two months of reading wedding books and blogs, I think I’m finally starting to have some cohesive thoughts. Today, Merry sent me a link to A Practical Wedding, and that’s where I found this awesome $2000 wedding.

I love the spirit of the wedding– focused on community, simplicity, sincerity, and quality time with the people they love. I love that they wanted something outdoors, connected to creation. I love how they kept it intimate– to their closest friends and family.

That’s what I want. Something small, something laid-back, something celebratory in the everyday sense. Something with good music, good food, and good people. Something that is as eco-friendly and justice-conscious as possible. We don’t need a professional photographer, we don’t need fancy clothes (honestly, Joe in a tux?–not very authentic), we don’t need a tiered cake. We’re getting married– declaring our lifelong commitment to each other before God and our community– not putting on a show. Getting married is a big deal, but I don’t think our wedding needs to be a big deal. It’s just one day in the rest of our lives!

Check out this picnic wedding. Joe and I like picnics…

Important note: I’m not criticizing traditional weddings or “go all out” weddings– I think those are awesome. People should celebrate the way they want, and I think any sort of wedding can be God-honoring– it’s just where your heart is.

I want a small wedding, our families want a big wedding, Joe seems to be OK either way, so that’s why we’re doing both!

My neighborhood’s Walk Score is 100 and ranked the 7th most walkable city in the US! The neighborhood we’re probably moving to in Vancouver ranks 75 out of 100 on Walk Score. Not as great as DC, but since the people are friendlier and the water doesn’t taste like dirt, that makes up for it. I do still like DC though.

We have one venue option now (our friends’ backyard) and we are excited! What better place to celebrate God’s good work in our lives than the great outdoors which He created?

We’ve been engaged for almost 2 months now! I am so excited to marry Joe and to establish our life together. I’m looking forward to sharing the day-to-day, both the fun and the work of marriage, enjoying each other’s company, learning how to love the way Christ loves us, learning how to sharpen each other “as iron sharpens iron…”

But, I must confess that from the outset, I’ve been less excited about wedding planning, a daunting task for a frugal, introverted (admittedly anti-social at times) people-pleaser like me! I’ve never been very good at enjoying parties– growing up, my family wasn’t very celebratory, and large numbers of people wipe me out! My parents also have very strong opinions that I do not agree with, and not meeting their expectations has always been a huge point of stress for me– so working through that has been tiresome. Eloping has sure been a tempting alternative!

But over the last few years, God has been showing me the importance of joy and celebration– so even though I’m still not very good at understanding celebration, I know that there is value in it, and I want to experience that value. Also, Joe and I have been surrounded by such supportive friends and family, and a wedding is our opportunity to express our deep gratitude to God and to all the people who have walked alongside us! I think Joe wants a party more than I do, and since marriage obviously involves two people, so there’s no such thing as “my way or the highway” I’m learning to compromise and loosen up where that needs to happen.

So after stressing out about stuff for a few weeks, I think I’m now at a place where I can have an attitude of openness, and enjoy the planning process. We are planning a small, intimate ceremony/reception in DC (spring 09) and a larger Chinese banquet in Vancouver (summer 09). Here are our challenges:

• planning a simple but nice event, taking into account realistic costs while fighting the temptation to give into wedding industry media; figuring out how to be good stewards and spend intentionally–not extravagant or wasteful but also not stingy or tending towards asceticism
• figuring out how to authentically celebrate and honor God for His work in our lives, and not lose that in the details
• time management–I’m involved in helping out w/ two other weddings, so that’s 4 separate events on the mind and calendar
• setting the right boundaries w/ family and prioritizing clear and open communication with them

We’re starting with our DC event first, and I’d like to do it for less than $5000. I think it’s totally doable as long as we steer clear of money-sucking wedding vendors! That’s $5000 for one day of celebrating. That’s more than the cost of one year of grad school at UBC!

Went to Grantham, PA for the church summer retreat. Pastor Charles announced our engagement to everyone Friday night, and poor Joe had to stand up all by himself! (I didn’t arrive till a few hours later)

Joe planned a picnic for us at Gravelly Point. We had some issues finding each other, but I’m still proud of him b/c I know he is not naturally, in my brother’s words, an “OCD planner” like my family.

(that’s a pretzel stick, for the record)

In case you haven’t heard– Joe and I are engaged! Here is my version of the story:

On Sunday afternoon, Joe proposed to me at the National Gallery of Art’s Sculpture Garden ( –by sculpture #16 if you’re interested in details like me

It started as a typical Sunday after church– we had lunch with friends at Full Kee (the only place we go in DC’s Chinablock), and spent the afternoon roaming around downtown (which we often do). Joe suggested we go to the Sculpture Garden (which I did not find suspicious, since we hang out there every now and then).

We found a shaded area that was free from tourists and sat on the grass, people-watching, talking, commenting on the sculptures. After about an hour, I suggested we go back to my place to make dinner. As I was about to get up, Joe stopped me, and said “Hold on, I have something to give you…” and that’s when he popped the question! We celebrated by sharing the good news with our family and enjoying Malaysian/Singaporean food at Straits of Malaya. (Joe’s family is from Singapore)

The ring is from Brilliant Earth, which was especially important to me, because I had expressed to Joe my distrust in the Kimberley Process and that if he were to give me a ring (yes, I did give him the option!), that I wanted it to be as socially responsible as possible. Brilliant Earth specializes in conflict-free diamonds from Canada and recycled gold; they also donate 5% of their profits to rebuilding African communities affected by the diamond industry. (For anyone interested, they also have a blog that covers conflict diamond and mining issues.)

I feel so blessed for all that God has given me here in DC– a good job, a great place to live, a loving church community, wonderful friends, and now Joe. We are so grateful to God, the source of every good gift, and to our friends and family who have supported us from near and far.