- he is INCREDIBLY patient and forgiving, and doesn’t seem to be capable of holding a grudge against anyone
- his sense of humor isn’t always dry– sometimes he can be really hilarious
- he is even more laid-back, accommodating, and flexible than I thought he was… I was waiting to see how long this would last, but I think these qualities are just in his nature.
- he LOVES watching infomercials and is strangely fascinated and amused by them
- he is disciplined about his work– is usually working by 8:30am and often works until 1 or 2am (with breaks for food of course )
- although he is more quiet than I am, he is less shy and is equally content being at a party or being at home
- he can’t touch his toes
- he drives his car like a city boy
- he really doesn’t like vegetables and thinks they all taste the same… but he still eats anything I cook!

Marriage Meme

1. How long have you been married?
It will be 8 months on Jan 23!

2. How long have you been together?
3 years, 2 months.

3. Where did you go on your first date?
First unofficial date: dinner at Malaysia Kopitiam in downtown DC and a 3-mile walk– from Farragut North to the National Monument, to the WWII Memorial, to the Capitol!
First official date: dinner at Ray’s the Steaks in Arlington, VA, then spent the evening at Gravelly Point and sat by the water watching airplanes take off and land.

4. Where did you go on your last date?
Lunch at Thai House on Robson and a long walk in the rain. Then grocery shopping. Not sure if that counts as a date though. Last one before that: watching Avatar in 3D.

5. What’s your anniversary date?
Wedding: May 23, 2009
Dating: November 3, 2006

6. Where were you married?
In the beautiful backyard of dear church friends in Maryland.

7. What was your best/favorite wedding gift and from whom?
Really good devotional book from Joe’s aunt… Devotions for Couples by David & Teresa Ferguson.

8. Where did you honeymoon?
At the Aerie Resort in Malahat, BC. We went ziplining near Sooke, rock-skipping at a secluded beach that we found by happenstance, fish-n-chips-eating at the pier, garden-traipsing at Butchart Gardens, and watched Star Trek!

9. What food do you like now because of your spouse?
Penang curry and beef rendang. I’m also starting to incorporate ketchup, his favorite condiment, into dishes.

10. What type of music do you like now because of your spouse?
Passion Band and David Crowder.

11. What movie or television program do you like now because of your spouse?
Battlestar Galactica! When people hear the show’s title, they just think it’s a nerdy sci-fi series, but it’s actually a really deep and moving drama about the human condition, and funny at times too. You get really drawn into the characters and their victories, struggles, loyalties to one another, etc.! Full of honor and even some romance.

12. Favorite thing you like doing together?
Eating! Watching movies. Going on road trips. Talking about tech/info stuff. Playing piano and guitar together. Finding good bargains.

13. Last gift you bought your spouse?
Five bottles of different kinds of hot sauce!

14. Last gift your spouse bought you?
I have a terrible memory when it comes to gifts from other people… I think it was a heart-shaped pendant necklace.

15. Favorite things about your spouse?
I love how steady and calming he is. He has a deeply-rooted trust in God and a security that everything’s going to turn out all right. He’s also hard-working, easy-going, sweet, and a grace-giver. He pretty much eats anything I cook, which is a huge plus. And he balances out the emotional melodramas I tend to play out in my head. (In the Jungian temperament framework, he is a strong Phlegmatic and I’m a strong Melancholy. Pretty much nothing seems to faze him, and I am easily fazed. It’s a good match!)

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

This is a great promise. I’m thankful for a God who is attentive and watches over us.

Here’s a prayer I like from that book, written by John Baillie (Scottish theologian):

O Lord and Maker of all things, from whose creative power the first light came forth, who looked upon the world’s first morning and saw that it was good, I praise You for this light that now streams through my windows to rouse me to the life of another day.

Amen.

Transitioning to life in Canada hasn’t been easy, but as I grow older, I’m noticing that most things aren’t. My parents did a good job of sheltering me from the hard stuff and making life so easy! I have hope that this transition will be good, eventually, but right now it’s just hard. It’s been almost five months since we left DC; I’m still searching, trying to hear God’s voice and figure out why we’re here and for what purpose. I know that re-rooting ourselves is going to take time; it took time when I moved to DC, and it’s going to take time here in Vancouver.

Joe and I are still figuring out who we are as a married couple and how we fit into God’s purposes. I feel that the “couple identity” we had in DC was largely based on our desire to serve our church community and worship God through music. We haven’t played music together in 10+ months (since December 2008), when Joe moved from DC to Vancouver; he donated his guitar to the church and we still haven’t purchased a replacement. I think that finding him a guitar and reviving our musical connection and worship is one key to establishing our identity as a married couple in Christ…

One thing I do appreciate about being in Canada is that God is revealing to me the weakness of my faith and that He is sufficient. I have a ways to go in understanding what it means to truly rely and depend on Him. Even though I’ve been in denial about it, the truth is that I’ve always been dependent on other people– what they say, what they think, what they suggest I do. This started with my parents– since I was a child, I’ve been compliant, obedient, passive. I’ve been a follower of people and of people who follow Jesus; but I’m not sure how much I’ve directly followed Jesus Himself. I think I have here and there, but I know I’ve allowed my fear of man to stand in the way.

So that is my new prayer. Even though I desperately want Vancouver to feel like home, to belong and to feel safe here, what I need even more is to learn how to be secure in my salvation in Christ. That is where everything begins. I need the Holy Spirit to grant me the desire to understand His thoughts and His ways, and to value them more than man’s thoughts/ways, and to equip me with courage to live out what He desires for me, and not just mull over everything. I think too much and worry too much! Way too much.

Married life has been good. I’m so thankful for Joe. He’s been so supportive and loving, and he eats all my cooking experiments. He even started making a huge batch of spaghetti once a week for the days I don’t get home from school until late. Yay for husbands who are cool with kitchen duties.

Last July, I promised my grandma that I would get her a new computer, because her Compaq desktop (from the nineties) took 20 minutes to load! Well, I finally got around to doing research this month. I wanted something light and portable and relatively inexpensive. On Joe’s recommendation, I ordered her an Asus Eee Box from Newegg.

The Eee Box is super quiet, requires little energy to run (only 20 watts!), and is less than 3 pounds! Setup was relatively simple. I did consult my “personal IT helpdesk” peeps (Joe and my bro) about display resolution but everything was pretty intuitive.

It is so pretty, I want to keep it for myself! But that would be silly since Joe already has 4 computers (G4, Macbook Pro, iMac, Eee Box) and I have 1 (Macbook). Um, yeah

So my biggest “hurdle” right now with wedding planning is finding a cheongsam for our Vancouver banquet. (In Mandarin it’s called a qipao but I grew up speaking Cantonese, so to me, it’s a cheongsam.) Joe’s mom generously offered to make one for me, but given the long-distance, it’s not practical– plus it’d be a big project!

So I’m trying to figure out where to look. If I were in Seattle or New York City, this wouldn’t be such a challenge– but I’m in DC, where Chinese boutiques are almost non-existent. And I really have no idea how to go about finding quality information on cheongsam vendors. Can I trust the top results in Google? If I look in the Yellow Pages, what category do I look under? Should I roam around Chinablock and start networking with folks who are “in the know”?

What I really want is something like Yelp with reviews so that I can discern: 1) where this type of dress would be sold, and 2) of those choices, which would be accessible to me and make a high-quality, affordable product. I want to know pros and cons of ordering online vs. going to a boutique in person.

I need a cheongsam librarian!

At first we used the method we’ve been used to– our cell phones. But those calls between Canada and the US add up! My cell phone plan charges 15 cents per minute for calls to Canada, and Joe’s plan charges 10 cents per minute for calls to the States. If we were to talk for an hour every day using this method, that’s a whopping $450 a month!

So then my roommate suggested calling cards. I still have the calling card I used back in college (before cell phones were popular!) to call my parents– 5.9 cents per minute to call Canada. That brings our $450 down to $286.20. Better, but doesn’t pass. We’re frugal Chinese.

Plan C. Joe has a GrandCentral account which provides you with a free phone number that can be forwarded to all your phones. The GrandCentral number has a US area code, and we got it to forward to Joe’s cell! So I can use my US cell to call a US number (at no additional charge to my cell plan) which forwards to Joe’s Canada cell number. Now we’re down to $180.

Still not good enough, because meanwhile, I’m racking up way too many peak hour minutes and going over my monthly usage limit. It’s hard to restrict calls till after 9pm and weekends. We need to use the internet!

But my roommate and I are frugal and don’t pay for internet– we’ve been relying on unsecured wireless in the neighborhood, which is weak and unreliable, but works for things like e-mail and IM. So Joe uses his Skype out account ($3/month) to call my cell phone. This is fine, but it means that he always has to call me and I can’t call him, and often the reception is unclear. Lame.

Finally, I break down and decide to pay for cable internet so we can use iChat, which IMHO is way cooler (and more reliable) than Skype. This is our method of choice now because iChat, in all its awesomeness, has video chat!

…and even a screensharing feature!

So not only can we see each other when we communicate, we can share web projects we’ve been working on via screensharing! This past week I showed Joe the new Serials Solutions ERM I’ve been working in and Joe (tried to) show me some CSS stuff. We can also have Hulu dates and watch “The Office” together– iChat lets us do voice chat while we watch, so it *almost* feels like we’re in the same room as we chuckle and banter about the show.

Geeky, I know. But we’re making it work.

It’s been hard figuring out how to involve our families in the wedding planning– it’s difficult to find appropriate tasks to delegate when they’re on the other side of the country. As I was reviewing our task list, I realized one thing we had overlooked– decorating our wedding arch. We’re renting one of these for our outdoor ceremony:

I started running through a list of DC friends in my head as potentials to delegate this task to, but couldn’t think of anyone who would be particularly enthused about the task… when I realized my mom loves this sort of thing! Perfect! I sent her this link for inspiration and within two days, she had taken two trips to Michael’s, selected about 3 different types of silk flowers and 2 types of leaves, and created this:

How awesome is my mom? Hmm…. what else can I delegate to her…

Probably not going to happen, though…